I am in love, utterly in love with Miami.
Not the drivers, who will cut you off for no apparent reason, honk at you, and tailgate instead of going around you. Oh and run red lights because wherever it is they need to get to is undoubtedly more important then where you’re going. … here I go off on my next tangent:
It is bad-bad-bad to zone out even for a second when you are freshly landed in a new place and driving a rental car to your hotel. I was on La Jeune St, and somehow missed the 1. And suddenly, I was in this residential haven of sprawling mansions, palm trees….all lit up magically against the night sky. It was incredibly surreal. And scary – because the streets were winding, intersections were few and far between, and none of the streets made sense (the numbers rose and fell illogically) – or so it seemed at the time. So I drove in circles for a good two hours getting completely disoriented…..
I’ve been in this situation before and it seems that once you’ve gone back and forth and around, you lose all sense of direction – this happened one night in Cape Cod, though then I had the company of a friend who was able to find some humor in the situation.
I wasn’t laughing this time. When I finally made it to a drive thru to ask for help, the employee had no idea how to get to Coconut Grove. This is one of my biggest beefs with the U.S. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a local resident how to get to a location, and they have no clue. None. Called the hotel and finally figured my way – and it turned out that I was 15 minutes away from Coconut Grove. I just don’t understand people who sort of exist, and have no awareness of their surroundings. This could be why they are working fast food drive thru windows at midnite, perhaps.
So I get to the hotel -- and they give me the 7th degree to even buzz me into the reception area, and the parking garage has these HUGE jail-like bars that screen off guest's cars from the rest of the world (or so you hope).
What it did was freak me out that this neighbourhood isn't safe. Once in my room, I noticed my screen door wouldnt lock. When I called down to get it looked at, the guy asked if it could wait until the morning. HELLO!?? Are people mad? What young female travelling alone would be ok with having a second floor balcony door unlocked overnite? Finally they sent someone up to fix it.
(at least the pool was nicely lit)
I slept like a rock.
(view from my car window the next morning -- heavenly!)
I met with a plastic surgeon the next morning. This was my first visit ever to a plastic surgeon’s office, so I didn’t know what to expect. What I encountered was a gorgeous, elaborate waiting area… and a beautiful staff. The doctor was in between surgeries so he was able to chat with me. What caught me off guard was the quick “once over” I got – I cant really decipher what conclusion he drew about my body, but I was aware of the evaluation nevertheless. Because time was tight, we chat a quick chat about his practice and the women who were getting augmented. He mentioned how he was moving from implants into more of the fat grafting techniques. And of course, women are really taking to this procedure – who doesn’t want to take a little extra jelly from “here” and put it “there”?
His lovely wife showed off the results of her own booty augmentation surgery…. And I had the chance to meet one of the receptionists, who was gearing up for her own booty surgery. She spoke to me candidly about her reasons for opting for surgery – as a Latina growing up without a booty, she felt less womanly. She also is convinced that the booty will help her goals – Latina beauty pageants and dancing for a major football team. She recounted a story of how she made it through several rounds of a cheerleading audition, and didn’t move forward after the “body”/ bikini round because she was up against curvy and bootylicious women. Her mind’s made up – she’s having the surgery – and she’s welcomed me to follow along in her quest, showing off the final results at a Miami club in the future…. Tempting….
(some art by the local "Scull Artists" -- check out the booty!)
That evening I had a LOVELY dinner with a talented photographer/artist. Check out her work at www.myspace.com/alissachristine
We dined at OLA (Of Latin America) restaurant on Ocean Drive. Loved the food – a fusion of tastes that I never could have expected or described. I highly recommend it if you’re ever in Miami. Alissa had suggested this location because she had some of her artwork on display there…. So as we chatted about booty and life in general over dinner, I was able to also check out her talent. I loved her energy – and was excited when she suggested we check out some more of her artwork at a friend’s workspace. I followed her to a derelict area of Miami….somewhere I honestly would have been shaking in my boots passing through on my own at night. We parked in an alley, walked through an iron gate, and entered the most beautiful and eclectic studio space. I met with the owner – Papaloco – a local artist… and saw Alissa’s art. She showed me work that she had done for an Erotic Show… she sought out a couple who was willing to pose erotic and found this great couple (that wants to remain anonymous). It was fascinating to hear her describe the process of doing an exhibit like this and I loved that one of her photos was called “Bubble Butt”!
Next morning, I had enough time to dip my toes into the sand and surf...
...before I had to head off to my last meeting -- with a fitness model/former competitor. Her house was stunning. Shielded behind an iron gate, I wanted to check out more of the place but that would have been rude to ask. It's hard to believe this woman has 2 kids and you cant help but wonder what the fine line is between hard work and great genes. But there we were, sitting in her fabulous office with a huge painted portrait of her as a "lioness", framed by all of her fitness magazine covers. She was full of charisma, talking about how she was an overweight housewife that decided to make herself over. She's very marketing savvy, and I can totally understand why she is a dream to her PR agency. She showed off her Brazilian bikini like, talked about sculpting a butt from weight training -- which she insists is possible because she did it... and talked about how much she liked my project... it's so reaffirming to have the support of so many fabulous women around the country -- makes the traveling solo that much easier....
I left her office and drove out to Coconut Grove for a little stroll and a little gelato....
Time was not on my side so I had to cut it short...
(I was in awe of all the waterfront properties everywhere, complete with yachts!)
Downside: didn't see a lot of booty. Didn't really have time to go to the beach, and it kept raining on and off so people weren't out in full force. Did notice a lot of bootylicious latin girls working in the shops in the South Beach Promenade (is that what it's called?)
All the more reason to come back. Loving Miami!
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