New "Bootylicious" Role Models Wanted -- Apply Within!

I've had my first majorly negative response to this project. Bootys, self-acceptance, body-loving... I'm sure you're thinking "how could this be?" Well my friends, it can be. And, from a most unexpected place imaginable: Camp Beyonce.

Pretty much every girl with booty out there that I've spoken with has mentioned that they idolize J.Lo and Beyonce. J.Lo has fallen off our radar for the most part, without any new albums or movies (or perfumes) in the last little while, and I've always identified more with Beyonce's curves, so I went about trying to connect with her people to see if she'd like to be involved.

As you may or may not know, she's also a designer now (more accurately, her mom is) and has launched Dereon and House of Dereon. I approached the PR reps for Dereon (soooo eager to find out if the line would reflect the womanly body of Beyonce herself) to see about setting up something. The reply - good luck but no thanks. I realize that on the totem pole of status and tv programming, I'm barely a rung, but how could anyone associated with the Booty outright say no to such a venture without even the slightest bit of curiosity? I was surprised and disappointed.

Then, I started to read that Beyonce no longer wants to be associated with the term "Bootylicious". A little part of me died when I heard that -- here was the first real role model for today's generation of teens and women who had single-handedly coined a new term and welcomed in the booty phenomenon, now turning around and losing weight for a film role and denouncing anyone who calls her bootylicious. I can understand how one would get tired being known for one isolated body part, but at the same time, look at the impact it has had on body acceptance and women everywhere!

So, when I found out that Dereon would be at the trade show, I decided to pop by for a visit and see if I could get a clear answer to this mystery. I was also still eager to get a quote on booty and body image from Beyonce's mom, as she had been designing sexy outfits for her fabulously curvy daughter for a long time. I popped by the booth, and was met by a young, overwhelmed girl with a clipboard. I dont think she understood what I was asking, but she grabbed my card, disappeared into the "By Appointment Only" area of the booth (I don't believe I saw any such rules for any other booth in the entire show), and reappeared to tell me the PR rep's schedule was open all day tomorrow and I was free to stop by then to chat with him. It was the same rep I had been in touch with months back, so I figured I would try to say hello in person and explain what my project was really all about and at least find out a bit more about the line. I'm trying to make sure I'm up to date on all relevant brands as they pertain to women and body image....which involves research.

When I came back the next day, I asked the same girl to see the rep and she guestured beside her -- he was sitting there on his Blackberry. I introduced myself and was cut off with a sharp, dismissive "look, as I told you before, we're not interested" or something rude to that effect, before resuming his typing on the Blackberry.

I was floored.

I continued, explaining that I was at the trade show meeting other designers and wanted more info on Dereon, especially because Tina has gone on record saying she's designed for curves for a long time. Those who know me know that I'm always polite and hate misunderstandings...so I wanted to make sure the air was clear.

He insisted that perhaps I wasn't understanding him and continued to repeat over and over "not interested." It was more the tone and dismissiveness that caught me off guard and prompted me to try to defend myself. Why was I asked to come back in person, to be snapped at? Or did the vapid little girl with the big clipboard create a bit of confusion in the message sent and received? Regardless, here was this rep, who was supposed to be dealing with the press and handling their questions, dismissing me and barely letting me speak.

I tried one final, polite-as-always approach: "as a journalist looking for information on the brand, you are telling me that you wont even give me press material, which is for informational purposes?" And he replied with....well, let's just say he could have been on an audio loop....

At this point, I was shocked, angry, confused and.... angry! I had never been spoken to that way by anyone I've approached for any project. Realizing the dead-endedness of the conversation, I said "that's too bad" and left.

I know PR reps are an often stressed-out bunch, dealing with persistent, rude people, but I am shocked at the level of social skills of a select few I've met. Especially because I am a super non-aggressive person and always approach people with graciousness and compassion.

So I've been left to make my own assumptions. Maybe the line doesnt want to be associated with Booty in any way, shape or form... it's very possible. But to think that this is the brand behind the WOMAN that sooooo many girls thank their lucky stars made the booty famous so that they could feel accepted, makes me feel ill.

The irony in all this is that I've never really been keen on celebrity in documentaries. I feel that throwing a celebrity comment in a film builds exposure and an all-too-easy way to get eyeballs... I'm far more interested in the down-to-earth, unaffected women out there, making waves and a difference without the luxury of the open door that celebrity-status offers. In this case, I just couldn't escape how many women quote the song Bootylicious and Beyonce as a role model.

But, in a film about women, empowerment, self-acceptance, and lovin' our curves, there is no room for rudeness and ego. Not much I can do, other than find new role models through my film for girls to go goo-goo over!

I'm over it. Find me a new Beauty with Booty!

Tatyana

The Birthplace of Showgirl Booty

I've never been to Vegas before. Weird? I've never really been into gambling, and there somehow has always been somewhere else to visit that's taken precedence. So imagine how distracting it would be should you be spending your first ever trip to Vegas on business... I mean, the distractions start as soon as you walk off of the plane:


(slots in the airport!)


(magnificent party spots)


(even evening excursions beckon you...)

But I'm a dedicated filmmaker and I know what my Vegas goals are. I'm in town for the MAGIC show. Until a few months ago, I knew nothing of this event, but the excitement has been building ever since I received my press passes to the event. It's the biggest fashion trade show (buyer's market) in the world and an annual event that even makes the always-extravagant-and-over-the-top locale like Vegas salivate greedily -- EVERYONE in town looks forward to MAGIC.

So there I was with my friend Steve, who so graciously offered to operate camera and deal with releases, ready to tackle this huge event that takes over both the Hilton and the entire Vegas Convention Centre for 4 days each year. How is this show relevant? All of the biggest and hottest designers are in town, and my interest in booty-celebrating denim brought me here. Plus, the "Streetwear" area always seems to bring in a mix of celebrities, booty models, entertainers, etc. It seemed like the right place to be to tackle a topic that clearly affects the fashion industry.

We check into Bally's and get our game plan together. It's already Day 2 of the event and everything is in full swing (in hindsight, I should have arrived a day prior to get organized). We got to the show and the grandeur of it all hit us then and there. 100 000 people were registered for the event. It makes the Banff TV World Festival seem like a little intimate gathering in comparison! I was lucky to have someone to help out or I fear I would have been swallowed up by the crowds alone.

(this should give you an idea of the crowds)

We actually missed a ton of celebrity sightings because it takes a fair bit of time to figure out where everything is located, plus the time it takes to get from one area to another.... next time I go (if I ever get to again), I'll be ready!

After we got our press passes, we walked into the Womenswear area only to find that model Joanna Krupa was making an appearance at the Dollhouse booth. Excuse my ignorance, but I wasn't aware that she was one of the sexiest women in the world as declared by MAXIM. But there she was, in a stunning white dress, though she was promoting jeans, signing autographs and doing interviews. She was kind enough to talk to us about her booty and her new campaign, which was very exciting -- my first "celebrity" streeter! She was lovely, articulate, and extremely unaffected, which is always refreshing....


Though the ad is fab, she doesn't really appear to have a booty in person...though she talks about her "curves" in the interview... it's all so very confusing to me.... I do love the new campaign for Dollhouse though that centres around the tag line "You are Beautiful". :)

The days have all sort of blurred together, but we met a bunch of swimwear designers -- I was interested more in the bootys on the girls modeling then the actual swimwear lines (as no one seems to intentionally be making bottoms for girls with bottoms (the way denim finally is).... my cameraman got some lovely full-frame bikini-clad booty moments (how's that for a trip highlight?)... but my focus was on the denim.

Chatted with lots of South American designers. It's amazing how their product, even from afar, is clearly not American. The denim has so much stretch it looks like leggings. I have never seen so many beautiful South American gals up close then I did on this trip -- and it's no doubt that they celebrate the booty but I was disappointed to see that every model was also spilling out over her top, most as a result of noticeable surgical enhancements. There were some language barriers making it clear I could never get away with following a Latin designer around as part of the film -- too much lost in the translation! :)

We even came across a South American company that is very blunt about it's featured product: "Butt-Lifter Jeans". The mannequins being used to display these designs were actually TWO BALLOONS! After i got over the silliness of this, I marveled at how they gave a great, round, plump display effect.

Chatted with Apple Bottoms and PZI Jeans. The latter is a fledgling company out of Atlanta that is really making waves for women with larger waist to hip ratios.... the models in that booth took my breath away -- regular girls with beautiful, natural faces and amazing bootys. There was even a Caucasian girl showing off her rump! I'm loving the vibe of this company... and will definitely keep tabs on them.

The remainder of the time, we trolled the stands, shot b-roll, looked for people to comment on booty, and took it all in....

Because of all the showgirl booty in town, I did my darndest to get access to some events. Again, in hindsight, we didn't even scratch the surface. If anyone has been to see Crazy Girls, La Femme or Jubilee, please let me know! Also, fatigue caught up with me and I lost a couple of evenings as a result.

We did see Cirque de Soleil's ZUMANITY. This was my first Cirque show ever! I've always tried to get Cirque tix when a show is in town but they are always insanely expensive and by the time I come to a decision to go, they are all sold out. The show was pretty good. Music and costumes were stunning. A couple of the acts really left an impression -- particularly the tissue artist performing to moans, groans and gasps -- it was really an indescribable sight and the show really does take you through a journey of emotions.... trust me on this one. There were several asses of note that I plan on following up on, which was exciting.... and I loved that every woman (and most of the men) were wearing thongs, making the booty a focal point!

Last activity on the schedule -- meeting up with a woman named Shedini. I had found her on the internet when I came across her show "Booty Magic". She is an illusionist/showgirl and as it turns out, her show had little to do with booty (or any more so than any Vegas show with the obligatory T & A), but she was an interesting character and a resource into the Showgirl world. She and her friend met us at the Bally's bar, then we drove down to the bronzed Crazy Girls monument at the Riviera where Shedini talked to us on camera about what makes a good showgirl booty, how historically showgirls have always been fairly small chested with the focus around the booty, etc, etc. As for Booty Magic, the show is no longer running but living in a town like Vegas, I'm sure she'll come up with something new before you know it.

She didnt have a major booty -- quite thin actually -- apparently she'd lost weight because her My Space pics told a different story, but her charisma was ooooozing! And she kept me laughing all evening! She wanted to become an illusionist because she got tired of being the magician's assistant that was always getting put in the box and often saving the magician's ass because she was the one doing the escaping! Can't say I've ever met anyone quite like Shedini -- it was a real treat!

Some miscellaneous photos:



I feel (as I'm sure most people do after a brief few days) that I've only scratched the surface of this weird and wonderful world that is Vegas, but it leaves something for next time.

My cross-country rump (romp) is almost over.....
Tatyana

Another sunshiney day in So Cal....

Another sunshiney day in So Cal....







Wandered the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica a bit which was too congested for my liking (and/or myshopping needs) but perfect for people (and street performer) watching...










I realized today that I’m getting burnt out. Also, being alone for this long is starting to get to me. As I wandered down to Santa Monica Pier today, I realized that its hard to be alone in your own thoughts in public in a foreign place when you also have to have a certain guard up….



















Never really done the tourist thing alone but the Pier was beautiful and I like walking and thinking – so long as I don’t get too wrapped up in my thoughts and stick to well lit areas, I should be ok.....

Still in So Cal....

My first meeting was in West Hollywood -- coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf with a plus-size model. I kept her waiting, which I feel terrible about -- as I got stuck in...surprise surprise, traffic!!! We had a brief chat, and I tried not to getdistracted by the fact that everyone entering the store was trying to see or be seen. Ivory (the model) was lovely... definitely charismatic, and she filled me in on her career and the plus sizeworld. Definitely a girl I could see engaging people on the street to participate in streeters... as is the idea in my head at the moment. She divides her time between New York and L.A. (quelle vie!) and said that her latest campaign was alraedy out - a Drink Milk commercial. Has anyone seen it and if so, can they help put a link up for me? I'd love to see it. I didn't want to also be late for my next meeting, so we wrapped it up. It was a really nice way to start the day -- casual conversation with a vivacious person. She defineitely got my energy level up for the rest of my meetings... thank you, Ivory!

Off I went to my next meeting in L.A. was with a plus size lingerie company, Hips and Curves. It may seem like I have a ton of meetings set up with plus-size characters/companies. To be honest, I identify far more with their messages, vision and attitude then the handful of "booty girl" agencies and models I've been trying to connect with. It's more of a sense of community, and acceptance, and though this film is not about the plus-size movement, it's hard not to get drawn into the positivity this industry promotes. Most booty-girl agencies I've called have told me to tell them which girl I want and they'll "book" her for me. They just don't GET it.

So yes, I've been told that plus-size acceptance is a separate topic from what I'm trying to cover in my film -- perhaps, but if you check out the site and how these gals make a booty look fabulous, you might see where I'm headed... I had fallen in love with some of their photography of women on their site. The lingerie shots were so kickin that it never would have occurred to me that these women are plus size. To think that I’m still considered “straight size” and I don’t have the confidence to rock a pair of undies like that makes me want to know more. So I met with the owner, the manager and two models. This by far has been one of my favourite meetings to date.
We had a “round table” of sorts and I learned a ton. They talked about how they’re the first company to really embrace lingerie for plus sizes – and told me that thus far, companies have always brushed off the marketing and promotion of the plus size items they produce. They showed me a couple tags for silky teddies that were STUNNING, but when you look at the model on the price tag/brand tag, the photography is mediocre. This is where they are making their mark – they are celebrating the delicious curves of women out there and showing girls that they can be and ARE sexy. Case in point – one of the models at the meeting had been approached by one of the girls – having never modeled before she was hesitant but has become a favourite of theirs. I had the added treat of seeing both girls try on a corset/panty combo and a teddy – and all I can say is WOW. Curves are hot and I’m convinced that lingerie looks better on plus size, fit women then regular ones! I tried not to have a tinge of envy (but couldn’t help it) when I saw the girls’ amazing boobs jutting out and defying gravity in the corset!!! The owners even have a stripper pole in their office – all about creating the sexy, empowered mood to get the photos and the imaging they need!

I left their office feeling very excited and realizing that I have a ton of companies that want to show me how sexy and empowering a photo shoot is for their brand and the women promoting it – I wish I could do an entire film about photo shoots but realistically, I can use only one with that angle (although I have a couple of creative ideas for doing more that that!! Shhhh, it’s a secret for now!!)

With some time to kill, I headed to Venice Beach. Ahh, just the weather here makes you want to get active and be healthy. It's interesting that this would be the case, considering the thick layer of smog you have to pass through when your plane lands in L.A.....

I got a little picture happy:















































This last picture might not look like much, but it bears a striking resemblance to what I remember of Greece.... (havent been in 4 years). Another thing, the minute I stepped out of my car, the smell of salt water hit me right in the face, bringing me back to summers in Greece by the beach. It never ceases to amaze me how powerful scents are in terms of triggering memories. I've got a super-sensitive nose too, as I've discovered over time. Scents have more of an impact (good and bad) on me then most. The salty air had a nostalgic soothing effect.... almost enough to make me forget about the maddening traffic....almost....

You know you're traveling on business when:

Your room has TWO comfy chaise lounges and instead of using them for their actual purpose, they become a dumping ground for your various gear, notes and other work paraphernalia...




My most exciting find this evening was stumbling upon a nearby Whole Foods -- that'll boost a gal's spirits....

The next day, I met up with Tonya, one half of a body-image empowerment through multimedia duo: Curvolution. We met in the lobby of my hotel – so gracious of her because I’d had enough of getting lost and stuck in LA traffic. I had found her company on the internet months before and had been reading the book her partner wrote that started it all: "I'm Beautiful, Dammit!" It's one woman’s intimate confession of growing up self conscious with her body and her dedication to changing women’s body image around affirmations…. Check it out, it’s a great read.

I had been eagerly anticipating meeting the author as well, as she even dedicated a whole chapter to growing up with small boobs and a prominent booty....but it was not meant to be. She lives in San Diego and just had her first child so the business is on hold at the moment and rightfully so. It’s also kind of nice that the anticipation of meeting this woman is quickly building…it’s unintentional but a great angle in case I chose to incorporate my first meeting with her into the film.

Tonya and I bonded over many things – she’s a woman working in kids tv programming at the moment, trying to expand her business and grappling with body issues. Through various projects she’s come to realize the power of empowerment…and the amount of women out there who want to have body confidence but don’t know who to turn to for guidance (save getting plastic surgery or jumping onto the hardcore diet and fitness wagon). Growing up in LA and with two young daughters, Tonya sees the pressure and wants to make a difference.

The company has some great things ahead in the future, and I'm hoping the timing will be right to follow them along. No, they aren't booty specific, but I'm crossing my fingers they will cast a lovely bootylicious performer for an upcoming show and we can follow the preparation from her eyes, which would then conflict with the "burlesque" storyline.... I've been trying not to deconstruct and overanalyze too many things yet, but as you can see, I have plenty of decisions to make ahead. I'll relish in my new experiences and meetings at the moment -- it's the only way I'll make it through....

Decidedly Derriere-rific,
Tatyana

San Fanny-tastic!

This pic is classic "Tatyana". Those who know me, know that I love finding the "Greekness" in the world around me during my travels. For some reason, it brings me a sense of calm and happiness that my "people" are around. I say this jokingly, really... It's just become a little habit of mine to seek out the Greeks (and the restaurants that generally go along with) on my adventures... here is the evidence of Greek people in San Fran....


Let me tell you about my "detour" during my L.A. trip. I jumped on a plane and flew out to San Fran for the day on Saturday. It was a last minute plan, as I learned that there is a huge burlesque community in this city. My plan was to meet with two fabulous (and very different, adding to my fascination with the art form) performers from different troupes.

But first I had to GET there. My first meeting was way out in Berkeley and I didn't have a rental car so I had to figure out the AirTrain and the BART. What a maze..my head was spinning as I tried to navigate :




























Cryptic signs, oodles of connections, and lots of trekking through deserted airport parking areas (so glad it was daytime!)...but miraculously, I made it to Berkeley!

There, I hooked up with Simone De La Ghetto from Harlem Shakes (first prize for coolest alter-ego IMO!!) -- took me to a vegan restaurant. This was a first for me. Those who know me know that I cannot nor wish to even try doing without meat. I’m ok with vegetarian dishes from time to time, but vegan was a totally new experience. And what a way to make my vegan dining debut! The place was called Café Gratitude and the vibe was incomparable. The menu only had foods with “live” ingredients, which I learned means organic, natural non-animal and uncooked. And the menu (and the atmosphere) is built around affirmations. I ordered the American coffee and was brought a steaming cup with almond milk and was told that I’m courageous…. later on that I am Elated and I’m beyond warm. The waitresses deliver these affirmations so naturally and genuinely, that you beam ear to ear without trying…. Check them out… Now I’m curious to see if anything in Toronto measures up!

We had a great chat about the black community in burlesque and how it’s a tiny niche in itself….. about how Simone's had to lighten the performance load while starting up a new career in real estate and raising her little boy. But the plan is to get Harlem Shakes back in full effect this fall -- the world needs to see what this troupe's about. Didn't get a chance to meet "Allotta Bouttay", the other current member of the troupe. Guess I'll have to see if her Bootay is Allotta to handle some other time!

I didn't think the whole San Fran trip through and as a result, was dressed in L.A. clothing (platform sandals, linen pants and a short sleeve shirt). As a result, by midday, I was a shivering, foot-aching mess. So I hopped into a warm cab, and snapped a few pics on the way to my next meeting:




Then I met Kellita – a lovely petite woman with a HUGE smile who does salsa-infused burlesque (read: booty shaking like the earth is quaking) locally. Her troupe is called Hot Pink Feathers. I LOVE her showgirl style – mind you all of this is building up to the NYC burlesque festival which I’m attending soon which will be the ultimate spectacle, but I love that this act is all about shaking and anyone who knows samba will know that the booty never stops… Again her smile was contagious, and as is the case with a lot of these troupes, she’s looking to build a cross country tour and audition new members as many come and go... our meeting was brief and I felt like I had been pulled into a charismatic tornado, still reeling as I stood in her lobby and plotted my next move.

With only a few hours to go before my flight back, I headed off to the Pier.



I am a seafood junkie. I really wanted to grab some crab from a street vendor because it looked sooo good, but my temperature predicament hadn't bettered, so I decided to dine in. This in itself is a milestone, because to my recollection, I have never had dinner by myself at a restaurant (and I'm not talking Subway or Harveys). But I grabbed a lovely booth at a place near the pier, ordered up some crab and wine, and took in the view. Progress is being made, folks!



San Fran was nice but brief. WAY too busy everywhere downtown for my liking…. Lots of homelessness concentrated in the downtown area, which is a bit uncomfortable, and way too cold in August (people were in winter coats already), but the views were amazing and I'd love to go back with more time to explore. For now, it's back to LaLa Land.

OH LA L.A.!

How was I welcomed to Sunny SoCal, you ask?

By a big, fat, endless, irksome, dose of TRAFFIC.

My flight took an hour longer than intended due to unexpected winds, and I found myself already behind for my first meeting. The meeting was in Santa Ana, so I had planned to leave straight away from the airport, after being warned about this alleged L.A. traffic. I didn’t expect the traffic to start even BEFORE I left the rental lot!



And it continued….



Google Maps told me my trip would take approximately 40 minutes – and 40 minutes became 2 hours. I witnessed a few confusing fender-benders (how SUVs could get turned around completely in the wrong direction when the flow of traffic is going no faster than 30 clicks is beyond me)....

But I made an important new friend who helped me along the way...

(After getting lost in all of my previous locations, I learned my lesson and got a GPS -- this little gadget became my little friend for this trip....)

Santa Ana was worth it. I met a lovely young plus size designer, Jessica Svoboda, who had started up a business with her sister and is kicking ass. She’s putting a lot of focus into premium denim now, as this has always been her passion.

She showed me around her office and invited me along to check out some samples at her warehouse. In the car, we had some time to get acquainted and I was drawn into her great aura and energy. At the warehouse, I got to check out her jeans designs and found out that denim design is particularly an art in plus-size clothing because these women generally have big booties and want to make them look sexy, not like sacks. The designer flat out told me that she’s a size 18 and because she dresses stylishly and carries herself with confidence, she has no problem meeting and attracting men. The opinions and concerns she expressed to me were delivered with such determination that I really think she could impact a lot of young women out there by doing speaking seminars!

I think she was a bit taken aback that I wasn’t plus-size…. But I’m hoping I conveyed to her just how much I respect and support the work she’s doing, regardless of my size. She’s prepping for a major market so I kept the meeting brief and sadly ventured back into traffic. I cant tell you how overjoyed I was to fling my sleep-deprived body onto that hotel bed. Ahhh, but I couldn’t call it a night, as much as my body was begging me to.

I had one more meeting that night with two women who own and operate the FIRST jeans company I got interested in when I started casually researching the booty subject a year and a half ago. They picked me up in a beautiful white Escalade and proceeded to amaze and captivate me for the rest of the evening. The gals weren’t exactly ying and yang but it was interesting to watch their dynamic. Best friends since high school who were now business partners!

We grabbed sushi in Santa Monica – perfect because it would have been hard to eat anything heavier considering in Toronto it was already midnite. They talked to me about their vision and the big splash their company was going to make in the coming months. I felt my anticipation rise… especially because each partner had a different shape that they were totally confident with and were highly ambitious entrepreneurs in their early 30s.

Side note: I am over the moon over the fact that this trip has connected me to so many fabulous, ambitious women. I feel like I’ve indirectly joined a legion of women with great drive – and I truly believe that’s what’s kept me going through all of the solo travel. At the end of every car trek/delayed airline flight is a beautiful, talented woman…. (my “pot o gold”) When I heard that one of the denim partners already had three kids and her daughter was going to turn 13 soon, it threw me for a loop. Here I am thinking about how I’d like to have a family in the next 5 years once I find the “one” and get my career goals in order, and here was a woman who was doing both! And looked killer and healthy to boot!

These women identified with my project and mentioned that they believe in promoting healthy body image – but growing up in California, they had felt the pressure to be thin and beautiful and had seen friends and classmates deal with eating disorders so their mission was much broader than the “booty”… and I tried to explain to them that the booty is my personal story and my metaphor for body insecurities. It sounds like we have the same mandate and goals deep down but I think our timing MIGHT be off – and I respect that they are making sure they are totally ready before they make their debut, so time will have to tell in this case.

Bonus: beyond the great conversation and food – they offered me a pair of their jeans. I couldn’t wait to try them on in the hotel room – and I did. The fabric is INCREDIBLE I will say that and it makes my ass look amazing – no small feat for me and my shape. Only bummer, they are really form fitting through the entire leg area and my legs are pretty muscular, so I don’t really like to enhance that area… so I think the pair would ROCK with high boots! Who would have thought I could fit into California style denim? These lovely ladies showed me I could! They really are desigining for a women with curves, I can now attest to that. Another company to keep on my radar…..

Mon Ami Miami

Ahhhhh....






I am in love, utterly in love with Miami.

Not the drivers, who will cut you off for no apparent reason, honk at you, and tailgate instead of going around you. Oh and run red lights because wherever it is they need to get to is undoubtedly more important then where you’re going. … here I go off on my next tangent:

It is bad-bad-bad to zone out even for a second when you are freshly landed in a new place and driving a rental car to your hotel. I was on La Jeune St, and somehow missed the 1. And suddenly, I was in this residential haven of sprawling mansions, palm trees….all lit up magically against the night sky. It was incredibly surreal. And scary – because the streets were winding, intersections were few and far between, and none of the streets made sense (the numbers rose and fell illogically) – or so it seemed at the time. So I drove in circles for a good two hours getting completely disoriented…..

I’ve been in this situation before and it seems that once you’ve gone back and forth and around, you lose all sense of direction – this happened one night in Cape Cod, though then I had the company of a friend who was able to find some humor in the situation.
I wasn’t laughing this time. When I finally made it to a drive thru to ask for help, the employee had no idea how to get to Coconut Grove. This is one of my biggest beefs with the U.S. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve asked a local resident how to get to a location, and they have no clue. None. Called the hotel and finally figured my way – and it turned out that I was 15 minutes away from Coconut Grove. I just don’t understand people who sort of exist, and have no awareness of their surroundings. This could be why they are working fast food drive thru windows at midnite, perhaps.

So I get to the hotel -- and they give me the 7th degree to even buzz me into the reception area, and the parking garage has these HUGE jail-like bars that screen off guest's cars from the rest of the world (or so you hope).



What it did was freak me out that this neighbourhood isn't safe. Once in my room, I noticed my screen door wouldnt lock. When I called down to get it looked at, the guy asked if it could wait until the morning. HELLO!?? Are people mad? What young female travelling alone would be ok with having a second floor balcony door unlocked overnite? Finally they sent someone up to fix it.


(at least the pool was nicely lit)

I slept like a rock.


(view from my car window the next morning -- heavenly!)

I met with a plastic surgeon the next morning. This was my first visit ever to a plastic surgeon’s office, so I didn’t know what to expect. What I encountered was a gorgeous, elaborate waiting area… and a beautiful staff. The doctor was in between surgeries so he was able to chat with me. What caught me off guard was the quick “once over” I got – I cant really decipher what conclusion he drew about my body, but I was aware of the evaluation nevertheless. Because time was tight, we chat a quick chat about his practice and the women who were getting augmented. He mentioned how he was moving from implants into more of the fat grafting techniques. And of course, women are really taking to this procedure – who doesn’t want to take a little extra jelly from “here” and put it “there”?

His lovely wife showed off the results of her own booty augmentation surgery…. And I had the chance to meet one of the receptionists, who was gearing up for her own booty surgery. She spoke to me candidly about her reasons for opting for surgery – as a Latina growing up without a booty, she felt less womanly. She also is convinced that the booty will help her goals – Latina beauty pageants and dancing for a major football team. She recounted a story of how she made it through several rounds of a cheerleading audition, and didn’t move forward after the “body”/ bikini round because she was up against curvy and bootylicious women. Her mind’s made up – she’s having the surgery – and she’s welcomed me to follow along in her quest, showing off the final results at a Miami club in the future…. Tempting….


(some art by the local "Scull Artists" -- check out the booty!)

That evening I had a LOVELY dinner with a talented photographer/artist. Check out her work at www.myspace.com/alissachristine

We dined at OLA (Of Latin America) restaurant on Ocean Drive. Loved the food – a fusion of tastes that I never could have expected or described. I highly recommend it if you’re ever in Miami. Alissa had suggested this location because she had some of her artwork on display there…. So as we chatted about booty and life in general over dinner, I was able to also check out her talent. I loved her energy – and was excited when she suggested we check out some more of her artwork at a friend’s workspace. I followed her to a derelict area of Miami….somewhere I honestly would have been shaking in my boots passing through on my own at night. We parked in an alley, walked through an iron gate, and entered the most beautiful and eclectic studio space. I met with the owner – Papaloco – a local artist… and saw Alissa’s art. She showed me work that she had done for an Erotic Show… she sought out a couple who was willing to pose erotic and found this great couple (that wants to remain anonymous). It was fascinating to hear her describe the process of doing an exhibit like this and I loved that one of her photos was called “Bubble Butt”!

Next morning, I had enough time to dip my toes into the sand and surf...



...before I had to head off to my last meeting -- with a fitness model/former competitor. Her house was stunning. Shielded behind an iron gate, I wanted to check out more of the place but that would have been rude to ask. It's hard to believe this woman has 2 kids and you cant help but wonder what the fine line is between hard work and great genes. But there we were, sitting in her fabulous office with a huge painted portrait of her as a "lioness", framed by all of her fitness magazine covers. She was full of charisma, talking about how she was an overweight housewife that decided to make herself over. She's very marketing savvy, and I can totally understand why she is a dream to her PR agency. She showed off her Brazilian bikini like, talked about sculpting a butt from weight training -- which she insists is possible because she did it... and talked about how much she liked my project... it's so reaffirming to have the support of so many fabulous women around the country -- makes the traveling solo that much easier....

I left her office and drove out to Coconut Grove for a little stroll and a little gelato....

Time was not on my side so I had to cut it short...


(I was in awe of all the waterfront properties everywhere, complete with yachts!)

Downside: didn't see a lot of booty. Didn't really have time to go to the beach, and it kept raining on and off so people weren't out in full force. Did notice a lot of bootylicious latin girls working in the shops in the South Beach Promenade (is that what it's called?)

All the more reason to come back. Loving Miami!